"I
am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly."
I found an apartment! Actually, I found it almost a week ago, but since I’ve moved out of my old place my access to internet has been a little spotty. After my experience living in a hole in New York, I swore I’d never live in a studio again. But this one is special. It just had the best energy. It gets good light, it has a spacious living area and a big eat-in kitchen, walk in closet and cute little bathroom. It has these awesome built in shelves that I can’t wait to decorate. Most importantly, it’s mine. It won’t be ready until the first, so until then I’m free wheelin’ and loving life. I am staying at a friend’s house while she’s out of the country. I’m barely staying there really, as I mostly just pass out wherever I am. All of my furniture and household belongings are in storage and it’s quite liberating to be without them. All of my clothes are with me. I couldn’t bare to be without them. They are piled in the spare bedroom of my friend’s apartment and in my car. My shoes are in a bag in my trunk. Do I think I’ll need my Sigerson Morrison red suede pumps this time of year? Probably not. But you never know. Those babies are sticking with me.
My point is, not having anything except my clothes and my car has been kind of awesome. It really frees up that need to come home and be a responsible, respectable citizen. If I have no home, then I can’t be a homebody. It occurs to me that homeless people are always asking for money for booze not because they are alcoholics, but because they don’t HAVE to function in the same way other people do. If you could drink all day, wouldn’t you?! It’s as if I’ve seen the Holy Grail or personally cracked the code of the Rosetta Stone. It all makes so much sense to me now. Since I’ve been homeless I’ve been doing done some extra damage at the bars, 4am has become the new bedtime, and I haven’t stopped smoking weed. I can’t quite remember the last time I was sober. Is that what they mean when they say pot smoking affects your memory?
I know what you’re thinking. “This girl smokes weed all day every day ANYWAY. What’s the big change?” The difference is I used to have a home. I used to have a home where I stayed inside and smoked weed all day, with an occasional trip to the grocery store. Now I don’t have that. All my habits are outside, out in the world, out in the open for others to see and for me to own. I don’t have to hide anymore. I can hang out with whoever I want. I can hang out with myself - FINALLY. I can spend some time getting to know ole' Angie. Don't I deserve that? Don't I deserve being out from under the watchful eye of the ever present boyfriend? There’s no one in my life that makes me feel guilty about who I am anymore. I'm free. Being temporarily homeless is awesome.
Did I hear someone yell Free Bird?
